Let's do the very common, overly done definition -
Success: –noun
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
Would you agree that most of us think of the latter when thinking of success? I'll admit it. I daydream of the boys having a successful mother they can look up to - a mother who has brought wealth and fame into the home.
My own mother was not what I thought of when I thought of that word, success. She stayed at home with us since my father traveled more often than not, making our lunches and driving us around wherever we were needed. Not much glamor, not much fun. I didn't want that for myself.
But here I am.
So I had to look back. Did I think of my mother as a failure? Certainly not. We all grew up to be healthy, smart adults (relatively speaking, of course). And do I consider myself a failure? Maybe it's too early to tell, but no, I don't. I'm there when they need me, I keep their cute little protruding bellies full, and fill their lives with smiles. But I still have a hard time with the word.
Let's look at these two women.
Who is more successful? Quick - don't think about it too hard. That's what I'm here for.
Okay, got your answer? Now let's analyze.
In the first picture, everyone knows who that is. She's rich, she's famous, she's beautiful. Her life is easy, and I'm sure her kids' lives are easy. Ms. Jolie-Pitt has tons of nannies, nurses, maids, etc. to ensure it. And how many kids can she keep happy? As many as the pretty couple can stand.
Now, the second picture. No one knows her. She's poor, and beautiful, but not in the standard Hollywood way. Her life is hard, and her kids are hungry and dirty with no clean water, or even clean clothes. She's by herself - no nannies, no car, no beautiful famous boyfriend.
Mom #1 has made a life for herself, and I have no doubt that she calculates everything so that her family is happy and healthy.
Mom #2 loves her children just as much as #1. She wants the same basic things for them, but she has to work harder for them. Much harder.
So who is more successful? The second mother.
Look at those kids. They are alive and thriving. They eat enough to live despite their poverty. And I bet they even have a great life together. You may not know who she is and she will probably die without fame and fortune. But her kids are healthy and happy. She is a successful mother. She works hard and is probably fighting the same internal battle every mother faces. She asks herself if she's doing enough, if she'll ever get a moment to herself, why she feels guilty for even asking....
After putting myself in her place, I look around this living room that seemed bleak and dull just a few moments ago. My 21 month old smiles at me. I think of my 5 year old happily singing songs at school.
Being a good mother is a success. It may not bring wealth in the form of money, but oh, how wealthy in love and life. To grow children who are thankful - who grow up to be their own success. That, my friends, is what it's all about.
My mother was always there. My father worked hard for what we had, but I believe my mother worked equally hard (if not harder!) to make sure the family stayed in tact, and were clean, full, and happy.
Sit back, slow down, cuddle those squishy wee ones. It's hard being a mother. And we'll explore more of that in the next post. But for now, think deeply on what's been discussed here and love the little "successes" - their smiles and kisses are all the wealth, position, and honor one heart can take.
